Life with a baby is a new adjustment and it takes time to make the transition, in every area of life, but with some mindfulness and a bit of effort – you can still enjoy a healthy physical relationship with your partner.
1: Don’t forget about the foreplay
First off, let’s be real. With all those hormones flying around in your system, you may not be in the mood to get frisky. The baby is demanding all of your attention. You’re exhausted, frazzled and emotional. This is where your supportive partner comes in! Staying intimate with your person is important during this stage. You need to keep feeling bonded and strong as a couple, and the dopamine and oxytocin released during foreplay and sex will help you do just that. If you’re not in the mood, try a little ‘pre-foreplay foreplay’, like a full-body massage or a hot shower for two. If you’re lucky, it will get you in the mood for bigger things!
2: Make a date; stick to it!
Set yourself a specific date night at least once a week. You don’t have to go out every time, but you do need to book a babysitter to look after the little one. This way, you’re completely focused on one another. At-home dates like cooking together, cuddling on the couch with some wine or taking a long bath together can be just as wonderful as a ‘proper’ date. That said, do take the time to spoil yourself and your partner by booking a fun night out when you can.
3: Set boundaries
Communicate your boundaries. Most women are afraid to tell their partners that they’re not comfortable with intimacy after a full day looking after the baby, or that they need more help, and they start to feel resentful. Resentment is a fast, effective passion killer. Tell your partner how you’re feeling, when you need help, what they can do to help you, and what your boundaries are when it comes to your time, your intimate moments and your overall wellbeing.
4: Step out of your mommy shoes
You’re a mom, but you’re also the love of someone’s life. When you’re spending intimate time with your partner, remember to step out of your mom shoes and treat them as an adult. A lot of people complain that once their partner gives birth, they start treating one another like children, instead of nurturing one another as adults. Don’t fall into this trap!
5: Never stop flirting
Send your love a flirty email or text message. Flirt with them on social media. Build up tension and excitement so that, by the time you see one another, you feel like lovesick kids and you’re ready to tear one another’s clothes off!
Keep the fun alive; enjoy your relationship the way you did before you became a mommy. This can sometimes seem easier said than done but with some extra effort and consciousness – you’ll find that keeping the romance alive is worth it.